We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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