Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
