Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
