Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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