dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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