I am midnight drunk by noon
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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