Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
