So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
