i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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