So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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