Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
