Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
