belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize