This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
