He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize