i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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