Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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