Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
