We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The ass gains better be worth it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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