I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The Olympian is in my bed
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
