it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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