I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
