Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
