I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
