How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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