he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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