im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize