everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
