What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
