I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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