Grow some girl-balls and come out already
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
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you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
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I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.