exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
