Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
