I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
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Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
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some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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