She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
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He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.