That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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