it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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