so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
