You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
