quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
