i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
