I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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