You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize