I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
