i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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