ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
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Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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