kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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