Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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