Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
