I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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