Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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