i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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