the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
