At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
