I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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