i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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