Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
