would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
