The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Randomize
