Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
