I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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