I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
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I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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