My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
