Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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