no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
