I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
