Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
