You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
