in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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