She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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