Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
